The Planned and The Unexpected

Birth is crazy unpredictable. As a doula we try our best to help families navigate the sometimes overwhelming decisions they have to make in pregnancy and in labor. A pregnancy and labor can have so many outcomes. When we sit down in the homes of families who hire us we go over in our prenatal appointments what a cesarean birth looks like. Not because we believe the expected birthing parent is not capable of having a vaginal delivery but because we feel strongly about giving families the knowledge they need ahead of time, rather than scrambling in the moment what to do. It helps in a situation that feels chaotic at times, even when we are present.

Kate and I have supported many families through the years in various hospitals throughout Pittsburgh in the OR. From Magee to West Penn, Jefferson, Mercy and more. Each facility we carefully navigate when faced with the plan to go through with a cesarean. Sometimes cesarean births are planned before labor because of very high risk factors that the family decides is the best route to take. Sometimes babies are breech, even after interventions to turn them. Sometimes there are unfortunate placenta conditions that prevent a vaginal delivery. Many times we support families through unexpected cesareans during labor. These kind of births are always emotional because the plan was to have a successful vaginal delivery. Every time we are faced with an unexpected cesarean we try to hold space as best we can for these situations. I have said this in many consultations and prenatal appointments throughout the years to our families: Having photos of your birth that did not turn out as you envisioned is just as important and valid (if not more so) than a birth where everything went perfect. Being able to see beautiful moments in chaos often helps the process of healing those traumas. Being able to have an outsider’s view when you are in a position flat on your back or feeling ill or having effects from medication is a way to fill in those gaps of being present. Empowering other families who have gone through the same situations and helping them heal through seeing these kinds of images is another beautiful thing. There are many places that do not allow doulas or photographers in cesarean births or families who would never know it’s even a possibility!

This post is for all our cesarean families out there who we have held, cried with, and documented their stories. This is for those who we are not our clients or never met but have been through the same scenarios. We see you, hear you, and your births are important to us.