Things I Learned About Pregnancy, Birth, and Breastfeeding After Having Two Kids
This is a special guest blog post by one of our former clients, Abagail Badger. These are based on her pregnancy, birth and postpartum experiences that worked well for her. ENJOY!
Disclaimer: I am a natural birth advocate. Natural meaning without medical intervention like Pitocin or pain killers. That being said, I am not a medical professional and I don’t claim to know what is best for every pregnant woman. At the end of the day you need to do what feels right for you! And if having a baby in a hospital with access to all of the medical technologies in the world feels right for you then do that! Every woman needs to be in the right environment with the right support team for her.
I have had two low-risk, uncomplicated vaginal births (one in the hospital and one in my home). I am a working mom with two daughters (a 2 year old and a 7 month old) and am in my late twenties. The following opinions are simply a product of my own personal experiences. I initially began writing this with the intent of sharing it with my daughters someday. I figured I better write this all down now while I still remember! Mom-brain is real! But I’d also like to share it with other women in my community. I sincerely hope this summary of information can be helpful to others.
Some of these things I knew before getting pregnant for the first time, but most were things I had to learn by experience.
So here we go!
Pregnancy
Go to a Chiropractor
See a chiropractor during your entire pregnancy. Find one who specializes in prenatal care if you can. This is really important to help keep your hips aligned and open during the pregnancy so your baby can settle into the correct position before birth. If ligaments are tight or something is out of alignment, then it’ll take the baby longer to get into position while in labor. Making sure the baby is in the best position throughout the pregnancy can dramatically reduce the length of labor and pushing.
Another reason to see a chiropractor during pregnancy is because your body is full of relaxin (a hormone that prepares your pelvic ligaments for birth) and that can make it easier for things to get out of whack. For example, I went to Groundhog Day in Punxsutawney, PA when I was 6 months pregnant with my second daughter. It was 34°F and we stood in a snowy field waiting to see a groundhog from 3:00 am to 7:00 am (I know I’m crazy for wanting to do that). And I sprained my foot. Just from standing! Those tendons get real loose when you’re pregnant. The body is wild.
Exercise!
You don’t have to train for a marathon (although childbirth is sort of like a marathon honestly) but make sure you get some exercise in! A good 30 minute workout 3-4 times a week is all you need. It can be as gentle or as intense as you like but move your body! A good rule of thumb is that you can continue doing whatever you were doing before you were pregnant. So maybe don’t pick up power lifting while you’re pregnant (unless you were doing that before) but keep moving!
I consistently did 30 minute cycling and high intensity interval training (HIIT) classes throughout both my pregnancies. I believe this reduced swelling, kept my blood pressure normal, and helped me build the physical strength and endurance needed for easy labor (okay labor is never easy but I bet it was a whole lot easier than it would have been had I not exercised!).
Do the Cat-Cow Stretch
Do cat-cow (also called pelvic tilt) exercises at night before bed. This really helps back aches and is key to getting your baby in the right position. You want the baby to be head down and facing your spine. The cat cow exercise creates more space at the cervix so the baby is more likely to migrate her head there. And, in the words of my wonderful homebirth midwife, “It’s really hard to lay face down when you’re in a hammock.” So they will naturally want to face your spine while you’re doing this.
Drink Lots of Water
Drink at least 96 ounces of water every day. I drank 128 ounces on most days. I believe drinking this much water prevents swelling. I had very little swelling until the last 3 weeks or so of my pregnancies and even then the swelling wasn’t noticeable to others.
Eat Lots of Protein
Eat at least 80 grams of protein every day. I ate Greek yogurt with fruit almost every day. I also ate a lot of chicken, shrimp, and cheese. And I drank a plant based protein shake on days I experienced a meat aversion. Eating enough protein helps your body prepare for birth and decreases your risk of preeclampsia.
Eat Lots of Vegetables
You probably already know this but eat vegetables! Seriously. At least 4 cups a day. I ate a lot of spinach salads with fruit and goat cheese, and raw vegetables with dip for snacks. And I would try to load up my protein shakes with spinach or kale too.
Don’t Forget Desert
I know what you’re thinking…eat better…yea yea yea…we all know that. But on days when you feel like you’re burning inside for a slice of chocolate peanut butter cheesecake, then go for it! It’s good to listen to your body right? If you’ve got your nutritional bases covered then a few indulgences won’t hurt.
Take an Iron Supplement
If you don’t have a history of anemia like I do then you might not need to do this (again I’m not a medical professional). But for me, taking a liquid iron supplement (I used Floradix) every morning made a world of difference! I mean I was exhausted 24/7 before taking iron. Then a few weeks after I started taking it I felt like a normal person again! I could come home from work and not require a 3 hour nap!
Take it first thing in the morning on an empty stomach with a glass of orange juice (iron absorbs better with vitamin C). Do not consume anything with high levels of calcium (like dairy) within 2 hours of taking it as calcium prevents iron from absorbing.
Take a Magnesium Supplement
Drink a magnesium supplement at the end of every night (I used Natural Calm). This prevents leg cramps (seriously pregnancy-induced leg cramps that wake you up in the middle of the night are not fun) and can help keep blood pressure normal.
Pro Tip: After the baby is born taking some extra magnesium (like ½ a teaspoon extra) is a great way to soften your stools and make the first postpartum bowel movement easier. No pharmacy over-the-counter stool softeners necessary. Who knew?
Take a Prenatal Vitamin
Duh. I used Juice Plus gummies at the recommendation of my homebirth midwife.
Drink Red Raspberry Leaf Tea Starting at 35 Weeks
Starting at week 35, drink one cup of red raspberry leaf tea every day. Then at 36 weeks increase it to two cups a day. At 37 weeks increase it to three cups a day. And at 38 weeks increase it to four cups a day and continue until the baby is born! This tea helps tone the uterine muscles in preparation for labor. I did this with my second pregnancy and not my first. And in my experience (albeit limited) this has led to shorter and less painful contractions.
Eat Dates Starting at 36 Weeks
Starting at 36 weeks eat 70 grams of dates per day (this is about 12 dried dates) until the baby is born. I bought dried dates at Costco because I went through so many.
There is an old wives tale that eating dates can induce labor naturally. While this is not true there are studies showing that consumption of dates reduces labor time, occurrence of tearing, and postpartum bleeding. It has also been shown to increase the rate of vaginal delivery with artificial induction like Pitocin.
Birth
Get Yourself a Doula!
Seriously. If there was one piece of advice I could give all expecting mamas it would be this. No matter how you intend to birth (un-medicated, with all the drugs in the world, c-section, at home, whatever!) have a doula there! I can not stress this enough. A doula is someone that will be at your side the entire time. They will be your advocate, your physical support, and your emotional support.
I was induced with Pitocin at 41 weeks with my first daughter (which is why I am now strongly against the unnecessary use of Pitocin, but that’s a story for another day). With the help of my doula Jill I was able to have a vaginal birth without painkillers. For anyone reading this who has experienced the horrifying wrath of a Pitocin-induced contraction you know how unbelievable this is. I can say with 100% certainty that I would’ve had an epidural if Jill had not been there. But Jill was magic! She helped me cope with the pain and get through the contractions. She grounded me in the midst of chaos.
I know many of you reading are probably like, “What’s wrong with an epidural? You’re crazy for not wanting one!” But my point is - having a birth as natural as possible was very important to me. And Jill helped me safely achieve my desired birth outcome. Of course no birth outcome can be guaranteed. But doulas greatly increase desired outcomes and are an integral part of positive birth experiences.
Peppermint Essential Oil Can Help Reduce Nausea
I used this trick during both of my labors. My doula was the one that shared this tip with me (another reason why doulas are absolutely amazing). Whenever I started to feel nauseous I would sniff some peppermint oil and voila! No more nausea!
A Due Date is Just a Number
The 40 week gestation standard is based on a 28 day cycle (there’s also a bit of a conspiracy theory out there that it’s based off of the Bible-reported gestation period of Jesus Christ– but we’ll go with the 28 day cycle explanation here). Unless you have a perfect 28 day cycle month after month, your baby’s “due date” is going to be different than 40 weeks from the first day of your last period. And the average gestation of a first time mom is 41 weeks 1 day anyway. So it really boils my blood when medical professionals hold mothers to a whimsical date and act like something will go terribly wrong the second you cross that threshold.
My second daughter was born at 42 weeks 3 days. I thought she was never going to be born. But she knew the right time to arrive. And she was perfectly healthy and the birth was incredible. If we had been seeing doctors in a hospital they never would’ve allowed me to go on being pregnant for that long. Most hospital policies demand that a mother be induced at 42 weeks without exception.
In reality, I was probably more like 41 weeks 6 days pregnant when she was born because I have a 33 day cycle. But again, it’s just a number. It’s simply an approximation. Every mother and every baby are different. Each baby needs a different amount of time in utero. And that’s okay.
In my humble opinion, in the absence of any medical issues, don’t mess with Mother Nature. Just let that baby come on her own time.
Take Pictures!
I was a firm believer in not taking pictures during birth when my first daughter was born. I thought that birth was a private and extremely intimate ordeal between two parents. I likened it to sex honestly. Would you want your own mother or sister present to watch you and your husband have sex? Or God forbid take pictures?
But, not taking pictures at my first daughter’s birth is one of my greatest regrets. Because I don’t remember her birth. I do but I don’t. I remember what was going on in my own head. But I have no idea who was around me, who was supporting me, what the faces of encouragement looked like, what the determination and sheer grit on my own face looked like. I have no idea. And I’ll never know.
But I did take pictures at my second daughter’s birth. We had an amazing birth photographer (Jess I’m looking at you!). And through those pictures I am able to experience the birth again in a different light. I am able to re-live the experience as an outsider. And I am in total awe of it.
These photos have greatly enriched my birth experience.
I know it costs a lot of money, but consider having a birth photographer if you can. At the very least make sure someone there can take pictures on a phone or camera. I promise you will not regret it!
Breastfeeding
More Contractions! Yay!
Oh man those postpartum contractions brought on by breastfeeding are unreal! Breastfeeding helps the uterus contract back down to pre-pregnancy size. But it hurts! For about three days after my daughters were born I would have painful contractions for a minute or two every time they latched on. I swear the contractions were just as strong as they were during labor. No one prepared me for THAT!
Cracked Nipples? Rub Some Breastmilk On Them!
The day after my first daughter was born, my midwife told me to hand express some breastmilk after a feeding, rub it on my nipples and let it air dry. Rubbing freshly expressed milk into the skin offers antibacterial protection and can help heal sore nipples.
It’s worth noting that if you have thrush this remedy is not recommended.
Remember That Chiropractor We Talked About?
Take your newborn to your chiropractor as soon as you can after birth! Having your baby checked out by a chiropractor after birth can help any breastfeeding difficulties you might be having. Your baby just went through something crazy just like you! Her head might be a little sore and need to be adjusted.
Feeding Schedule? What Feeding Schedule?
Don’t let anyone tell you to put your baby on a feeding schedule! My goodness what awful advice. Your baby has one job and that is to grow! And how will she do that? By eating. A LOT! And sleeping. A LOT!
I had a pediatrician (a male pediatrician by the way) tell me that I shouldn’t breastfeed my daughter for longer than 20 minutes on each side. That she wouldn’t get any milk after 20 minutes and she would be wasting precious calories sucking on me while not getting any nutrition. He also told me she shouldn’t take naps for longer than an hour. And God forbid she fall asleep at the breast! Gasp! I was instructed to keep her awake for precisely 30 minutes after each feeding before letting her sleep. Excuse my language but what total bullsh*t advice that was!
I get so angry just knowing a leader in the medical community is telling new mothers this. And I feel even angrier at myself for listening to him. But you don’t know what you don’t know. And motherhood is all about learning. We are never done learning.
Moral of the story - let your baby be at the breast as long as she wants! She can be there for 5 minutes or 2 hours! Whatever! Being at the breast is good for your baby and good for your milk supply. Don’t worry about a feeding schedule. And if your baby eats for 45 minutes and then wants to eat again 15 minutes later let her! Letting your baby eat whenever she wants and for how long she wants will increase your milk supply and decrease your stress. Trust me – a feeding schedule is a stress filled task that takes all the joy out of breastfeeding.
Again this is only my opinion. If you think a feeding schedule is better for your stress levels and your baby is gaining weight just fine and your milk supply is awesome then do what’s best for you. But don’t let some man tell you how to breastfeed your baby.
Let Your Baby Fall Asleep While Breastfeeding. This is What Nature Intended.
There will be people that tell you not to let your baby fall asleep at the breast (see the section above). They’ll tell you that this will create an unhealthy association with eating and sleep. Well by now you already know how I feel about those people. Ignore them! You let your baby fall asleep at the breast as much as she wants! She can eat and sleep as much as her little heart desires.
I had a feeding-waking-sleeping schedule for my first daughter that was an absolute nightmare to maintain, all in the hopes that it would help her sleep at night. She started sleeping through the night around 3 months old and I thought well maybe this schedule thing actually helped. Then my second daughter came along and I decided I was going to let her eat and sleep whenever she wanted and guess what – she started sleeping through the night at 2 months old (I just have to say I’m sorry for all the parents out there not getting sleep – I know we’ve gotten incredibly lucky having two babies who are good sleepers).
But my point is that letting your baby sleep at the breast will not disrupt sleeping at night or create a “bad” habit. You either get a baby that sleeps at night or you don’t. I don’t think there’s a whole lot you can do to change a baby’s sleep personality.
Try Using a Haakaa Pump
A Haakaa pump is a manual breast pump designed to catch leaking breastmilk by applying suction. Full disclosure this did not work for me with my first daughter. She ate on both sides every feeding and even when I did use it, barely anything came out. Like not a drop. In fact if you must know I was so pissed off at it with my first daughter that I threw it out!
But I gave it another try with my second daughter and it was amazing! My second daughter only ever ate on one side at a time so I used the Haakaa during night feedings and I saved 300 ounces of breastmilk in 3 months! While my milk supply has been much better the second time around, it is by no means stellar. But having this kind of frozen supply has allowed me to push off supplementing with formula. My second daughter is 7 months old now and hasn’t yet had formula. My frozen supply is almost gone and we’ll have to start supplementing with formula soon. But this is a huge accomplishment for me as we had to start supplementing at 3 months with my first daughter.
No Matter What Remember This
When I was pregnant with my second daughter, my amazing homebirth midwife shared something with me that I’ll always remember. She told me, “All your kids want is you. Not the fit mom, not the Pinterest mom, not the PTA mom, not every other mom you think you should be. All they want is you, so be the happiest you there ever was.”
This quote will always stick with me. What I get from it is this – yes you are here to love and care for this tiny human and it is a full time job with no breaks. But you also need to love and care for you. And at the end of the day, whether you had a home birth or a hospital birth, formula fed or breastfed, are type A or type B, do what works for you and your family.
You’ll figure it out. I promise. And your baby is gonna love you!
